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11 entries this month
NOTHING
04:11 Sep 24 2007
Times Read: 691
"NOTHING"
By: Diana Martin
NOVEMBER 3rd 2001
I am born again in some way...and see David in the stars
Snow falling at Morven...and masking each of the parked cars
The steps I took at that time...The ones I should have taken
Every little kingdom in doom...and this is where I was foresaken
Walking lightly never disturbing the resting souls...I thought Jesus was in bed
Allowing anything to save me, rake me over my bed of hot coals...Feeling both alive and dead
Living in Hell, Making my own Heaven and somehow living inbetween the two
Matilda as a name, Unhealthy habits just to pass the time...completely unaware of what I used to do
( but everybody kind of knew... )
Nobody wants to speak up...Everybody wants to take a quiet stand
Nobody has the nerve to scream it as I do...Maybe I'm the only one who can
Everybody acts as though their mouths have been stitched shut
I could play the part of a Nun and still remain pain's slut...
I am clean and dirty all the same
Still feeling the need to pin down the blame
'Cause there are only so many times you can hear somebody say they love you
Before they slip into their real skin and reveal who they really are to you
I am casted stones and silence
Still needing some form of guidence
'Cause there are only so many things that can happen before you attain a broken spirit
Before you contemplate taking yourself out of your head, throw the towel in and eventually quit
( but everybody's got a line to cross before they split )
Nobody wants to do anything you'd hope they'd do
Nobody feels the need to
Everybody's gone deaf and blind
Everybody's been gutted of their own mind
Nobody feels the need to adress the things which need to be
Nobody has the raw nerve to ask me
I'm a little older, Going full spectrum these days
Looking to free my mind and break my set ways
Everybody's turning the other way
Nobody wants to stick around when I ask them to stay
( and thats more than okay... )
DIRTY MINDS
04:05 Sep 24 2007
Times Read: 692
"DIRTY MINDS"
By: Diana M.
6/02/07
(written for band, Post Mortem Velvet)
I know your ways in this world
Twisted inside the pleasures of the flesh
Your pleasure is resting under my sheets this evening
Your pleasure was all mine.
You're unreal
Inflicting what will have to heal
You're draining me methodically
Your thrashing - My body.
Jesus Christ died for our sins
Jesus didn't know about you
I'm burning for another touch
Another crack of your whip
Why do angels like you have such Dirty Minds?
This is what you gave
The master inside of me has been raped
I need you out of my sights
I need you out of my touch
Your living inside the twisted things
Your twisted too much
Another suffer covered with your kisses
Another fuck and your done with me
Why do angels like you have such Dirty Minds
"CONCRETE"
04:04 Sep 24 2007
Times Read: 693
"CONCRETE"
By: Diana Martin
MARCH 12th 2001
I had no special needs
Other than to be heard at times like these
Nothing left from the get go...
So...You better go please
I'd say I wanted to someday hold the world in my hand
Then you'd roll your eyes at the idea... because you really didn't understand
The fine line between love and hate...the way we would intentionally frustrate
But then again from day one...between us...it was too late
Somewhere through grace and this little space
I'm living cold, becoming my own ghost and not being able to recognize my own face
Somewhere along the way, I have become my own hostage
Breaking the reflection and recalling it all as garbage
What to do when you can't undo
Then snap your fingers - I'd crawl to you
An "S" before the "EX" - We'd do that too
But it's hard to hang on when you feel yourself ready to slip right through
Somewhere in this great big space
We devoured our place in this human race
Somewhere we had the idea
But you didn't hear me and it was then that I just didn't feel you
What to say when you can't speak the language
Then you'd drink your fears and I'd smoke my mental anguish
A "D" before the "IE"...and we were
But you couldn't make up your mind when I was always for sure
Somewhere in this world we'd become
Eachother's black holes...and just feeling nothing but numb
Somewhere two souls collided by chance
...And killed each other with every circumstance...
What to see when you have gone blind
If we could have only started out leaving each other behind
An "E" before the "ND" which was always at heart
But then again, sometimes, It's better when these things don't even start
DARK AGE ROSES CRUMBLE
04:03 Sep 24 2007
Times Read: 694
"DARK AGE ROSES CRUMBLE"
By: Diana Martin
Created 3/12/1998
I think I've known you from somewhere
But still, I cannot place it
Something tells me to waste no more time
The candles of the past burn with regret
When we were in a time of confusion
And I died before your kiss
One more life to live here and...
I fight to complete this
The snow turned to rain on those crosses of fear
Destiny slashes right through me...
And as time is ending
We are the ones who are near
What roses from the dark age wilted
With no new life to live or end
I live again inside this body
Fit for you to sin inside of me again
Crashing of the ruby glass
These things are used to being broken
Thunder showered a path of...
Your un-holy love as it's tolken
Refuse to walk this world without you being by my side?
Within the dark parts I am left within myself...
Within those parts I hide
I've seen many faces that resemble yours
As I should smash them all for mocking me
Lunar Eclipse dawning
A broken world hoping for christianity
I swear I've known you from somewhere
But for the un-life of me I cannot place it
Knowing I am in this together and alone
Knowing somewhere... deep down is a courage to face it
With no end in sight from this trickery
Black lace tattered from the grave...
Bound by midnight and a new age blood
I take my place as your servant and slave
If I breathed in the same air
Passing under the those litted slivers heaven made....
I wouldn't drink the wine of one more sweet illusion
Before the master inside of you is slayed
Crashing of the Ruby glass- Crash into the fire
It's your un-holy love I used to desire
Searching ancient haunts and ancient drawers
This temple is as lost as yours!
I smell your smoke laced with an uncertain death
I used to walk beside you...now I walk alone
You're memory fleeing me with each breath
Dark age roses and thorns
Stabbing at me as an ancient sword
You walk a path of forgotten steps
You were my Master...My Lord
When the time was half past confusion
It seems I was torn away
Sleeping half past noon
Dark age roses is our sign to pray
I think I've seen you before I was bound and taken
One more spiced cigarette before you sinned inside of me again
Dark age thorns
Bleeding me as an ancient sword
Ancient dark age roses and black lace
For my lost Master and My Lord
THE ART OF MADNESS
04:03 Sep 24 2007
Times Read: 695
"THE ART OF MADNESS"
By: Diana Martin
Created 3/13/2000
I'd examine all the houses in your chart
If I could understand the times we shared apart
You've been sleeping and together we can't dwell
Too many glitches here - In you I think I might as well know Hell
You said you like my lips painted up red - You said you wanted this
I can't wear that shade no more...it's too bitter when we kiss
So, I run away from you...I can't seem to get away
I and You, and everything else...You look one hundred percent better when I can't see you today
I slept in your bed and watched you toss and turn
Watched you turn me off
I wished that you were some place else
Woke up to your kisses and...why can't you just burn?
I ran thousands of miles just to get myself away from everything you are
I ran out of breath and still breathed in the exhaust from your car
I became soaking wet in the rain...trying to wash away whats been
It's not the same anymore...flesh on flesh and sin after sin - It makes my patience wear thin
I'd examine all of the stars in your chart if I could..but no longer can I work that magic
I'd be wise to just up and go but you just can't fathom that what we have has turned tragic
Who have I become when I'm looking for ways to seperate myself from you completely
But you just corner me when you can - Touch me and tell me how much you want to fuck me
I'd examine all of the aspects that you were born with - What you really are
I just don't give a damn that your wear lust for me as a scar
I'd be wise to just say nothing at all...and finally disappear
In my mind I despise your face - Despise when you are near
Now I've run and where have I gone?
Because with you I can't breathe and with you I can't believe I've lasted this long
Now I've vanished into thin air because with you I can't see and with you I can't be
Now it's over and out, now it's over I said...because with you I couldn't feel and with you I couldn't be me
FEVERISH THROUGH PALE DECEMBER
04:01 Sep 24 2007
Times Read: 696
"FEVERISH THROUGH PALE DECEMBER"
By: Diana Martin
Created 4/29/2000
Nearly 3am waking up in the middle of pale December
My body's temperature at 103...surprised I could remember
Walking almost zero - Walking naked to the yard
The blades of grass were frozen...I stretched my shape and let down my guard
His name was Pale December...he made his way to my side
Like I wish he would...he opened up more than this, He didn't hide
My imposter, my saviour...my " Could be that " He brought me to a dark place
I was becoming delerious and frozen....he took me inside
Took off my clothes and watched me stand naked in time
Fever breaking...whats done will be done...whats more...he said " You are mine."
I turned around...his glances sweeping over every curve
Open window and a post midnight sky...vampires and warlocks...Where did I get this nerve?
Pale December making me see all that I could see
Pale December making me behave the way I wanted to be
Pale December touching me under the mystic blanket of myth
I'm falling off the deep end...I'm falling off the world naked...I don't even know who I'm with
You don't know...you don't care...
You don't let me object...I don't think I could with that stare
Falling faster through the cracks of morality
Blessed creature...Pale December...Is your kiss of Immortality?
Hold my breath and drift away...eyes rolling back into my head
Opium pushing and pulling its way through my dreamscape...Am I allowed to remember everything he said?
I can't feel much more of anything...Or why he talks sofly while he's inside of me
Innocent and feverish...I have become naked with a stranger...Became naked with Pale December
And woke up at 3pm, in my bed, feeling Pale December's hands of lucidity
PART OF RAIN
04:00 Sep 24 2007
Times Read: 698
"PART OF RAIN"
By: Diana Martin
Created 11/12/2000
Get baptized in the rain and watch it fall down on me
It viciously blesses the un-holy parts of me
And tell a lie to the heart body and soul
This is how to get grounded - Become naked - And learn to see
Is it nonsense? Am I scared? If as much you'll be afraid
Of the things I've said - Of the many things I've toyed with...And made
I'm haunted by my own misbehavings - Haunted and yet suddenly not so afraid
Shed your clothing, Lay in puddles and lets get baptized in the rain
You want to say something and I feel charges in the air
This is the time, Now is the time and I'm compelled to share
I'm lost in my own shadow and i'm haunted by the Earth's very core
And I don't feel so brave standing naked and wet - But I am secure
Hell don't know my fury,My guts and glory - Hell don't know my own voice
Heaven can't find me, No faith like I used to and hating each choice
Nothing to lose, Nobody to relate to and the unexplainable to gain
I'm closing my eyes and leaving ghosts behind so we can get baptized in the rain
And it falls delicate at first and then picks up with every blink
And it violates my mind and rapes my uncertainty...I think
But I could spin circles with my arms above my head
Everything seems so complete like this and I understand what can't be said
Get baptized in the rain and forget the world as you think it might see you now
It caresses the soul - The heart of me - My humility- and I can't describe how
Just shed those clothes and stand right at my side
I want to see your vulnerable parts - Your very state of being - Yield to me and abide
...And get baptized in the rain...
WOULD IT KILL YOU? (blonde man)
03:58 Sep 24 2007
Times Read: 699
"WOULD IT KILL YOU? "( blonde man )
By: Diana Martin
Created 11/21/2000
Make believe me to be alive and open my eyes
Force the children no matter how hard they cry
And the blonde man's on his way again
He's smothering all the mouths of all my friends ( and pulling at our loose ends...)
Grab at my increasing anger as it seeps through hairline cracks
Take a number before you stab me in the back
And your hands are wrapped around our little throats
And I'm sick of being your god damned scapegoat
But in outlines of chalk and salt
We're a falling trinity of our own assault
And I'm pleased to beat you finally
Pleased to be apart of your totality
We're not your slave
We didn't dig you from the grave
We're not your voodoo heads
We didn't rape you in your bed
And you're ancient and before written word
Havoc me, Ravish my mind, leave me hopeless and absurd
And we're not going to die in your nightly holocaust
We're not going to become victims in the land of the lost...
Blonde man in the mirror, Blonde man in the sand
Devil in the river - Contorting our dreamland
Blonde man in the flesh, Blonde man on the pillow
Devil in the closet reeking underneath a Halo
We're not your lover
Didn't kill us undercover
We're just a little far from grace
And killing you softly - At a rapid pace
Blonde man are you shaking in that skin?
Blonde man are you begging to get in?
Blonde man are you everything you've claimed to be?
In your demise as far as you can see
You gave us a reason to avoid sleep
Murdered our counted sheep
Casted shadows in our imagination
Left us soiled in your mental ejaculation
Deceived us into slitting our wrists
And cut a little deeper if the pain persists
Believed that we would go mad in your mind
But tonight I've left my demons behind
Blonde man are you creeping through our sleeping?
Blonde man are you scared of invading our dreaming?
Blonde man are you fearfull we may turn on you?
Blonde man...are you?
17,18,19,VANITY
03:57 Sep 24 2007
Times Read: 700
"17, 18 , 19, VANITY"
By: Diana Martin
Created 11/26/2000
In ability and all the rest of what you babble I can't make
Any room for your feast of all saints and...heartache
In ridiculous and everything else you say
I just woke up kicking and screaming today
That you'd fit quite nice in the palm of my hand
And
While I was at it I thought of the past
And
Drew the sky black and said "Let there be night
Let these phantom wings take flight
And take this space from my sight"
'Cause it isnt beautiful anymore...
I've been dead for too long
Refused myself and believed I may have been wrong
And from out of this coma-like state
It's a perfect time to celebrate
( i contemplate...)
This is the second coming of my own existence
Fadded the patience and only tolerated the resistance
Confined in solitary I started to fall
But this is what it's like being awake afterall
Not this skin, not your body anymore
Not the pain, not the sore
Our worlds collide by train and I
Don't feel like letting you ride anymore...
Did the sky turn grey and swollen?
Did your papers and poets weave a life already woven?
Did a gunshot say you were a god for the day?
And all the beautiful ones died that way...
Where do you fit into this picture frame?
The last ladder to climb in this claim to fame
As far as I can see...
A nuclear fucking winter's conspiracy
Needed a revolution
Burned a witch and an absolution
On the bound and in the t.v.
Like another dead Kennedy...
So we'll take another valium and light a candle
All the torrid events we can handle
Take our heart away and pop more soma
In this time...in this life.....in this world...we're a coma
"HATE IS A GIRL..."
03:56 Sep 24 2007
Times Read: 701
"Hate Is A Girl..."
Lyrics By: Diana M
and Eve Carsen
Hate is a girl with green in her eyes
Her head burried between a strangers thighs
Hate is a girl with lips painted red
Her scottish skin pale as dead...
She could be doing spells at this very moment
She could be trying to control everything
She might be thinking of her movement
She could be looking at his lips thinking of something
Hate is a girl with roses in her hair
She's amused with a child-like stare
Hate is a girl who lives next door
She's screaming she wont take it anymore...
She could be looking for a gun in the other room
She might be thinking of impending doom,
She could be trying to hear a voice from above
She might be hoping it's something she dreamed of...
Hate is a girl with a china doll face and smile
She's not coming back here for a while
Hate is a girl thinking many things
She's wondering how bad it stings
RIVER DEAD: by d.m.
03:55 Sep 24 2007
Times Read: 702
I smile through lies
I laugh when I hate
As much as I can
When ever I please....
Devoted to you in some way
The things you’d say
Don’t trust enough…make a fist
Take a breath.
You missed.
I'm fake as fuck
Hallow as hell
And your name -
Sexual Casualty
Pleased to meet you, I’d imagine
Feels so dirty under that skin
Don’t feel too much…make a fist
Look Up.
You missed.
Complete for the time being
Though you’re completely like me
Don’t care as much…make a fist
Feel ashamed.
Look back.
You missed.
I love when you cry
I crave you in pain
As often as possible
Whatever I want...
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